Daddy

[ ] = musical thoughts ( ) = random notes or thoughts { } = random/sudden annoyances

Geez i'm up some kinda early but thats kinda how its been all week (spring break!!) But onto the subjects..my daddys kinda in a situation where he's kinda in a hospital setting with this blue tube in his neck thats probably pretty annoying to him...I mean he can't talk and pretty much half of his body is paralyzed and some of his cognitive functions are a little off...it could be worse right? and he seems to be getting better but there are always those things that have to like annoy you you know?...The person of all ppl in my family that should get me gets some kind of ticked off when I dont choose to speak to my dad in the hospital..yeah I guess most people would be like "O geez what a prick you wont even talk to your own dad when hes in such a state?!" yeh ok thats great -moves on-...yeah thats what I do in those situations it amuses me. But anyway lately (being since i turned like 14) i've had a weird relationship with my dad...yeah i used to be a daddy's girl apparently i still am in other people's eyes [man the cocteau twins have some powerful music...] I think it's just cause' I look like him...anyway, when I go see my dad I walk in...put the hand sanitizer stuff on (I've been kinda sick lately and apparently its really dirty out there in the world) and i go over by the window and watch him...simple pretty easy well not really word count speaking I guess..but so much goes on in my mind...i'm watching his movements, his facil expressions, patterns, eye contact, signs of pain,....watching the machines...inspecting the sheets, pillows, floors, tables. I watch the nurses body language, tone of voice, eye contact, walking pace...all of this goes on within minutes and continues for however long were at the hospital...and still when we leave my brother gets this kind of ticked off and asks me why i'm not saying anything to my father and im like seriously dude? why dont you keep that shit to yourself sometime shit its so annoying and its funny because my mother has yet to complain to me about not talking....though i guess i've been more of a "mommas girl" if thats even a common term (hey cool tom n jerry is on) Well now my dads in this new facility that i've yet to check out...apparently my family likes to leave me home alone instead of waking me up these days..damn I still need to find a dress how lame I guess i'm done with this rant.
[Now i'm listening to...: Baby Love Child by Pizzicato Five]
~shaken not stirred_sueños